Dawn Madden's Breasts Were a Pair of Danishes...

Bet you clicked on that! I love looking every year at Literary Review's Award for bad sex writing. Not new, but since we're on the topic of romance and love and sex and all that other stuff, here are the 2006 nominees. Sadly, I've read two of the nominated books--A Spot of Bother and Black Swan Green and liked them both, bad sex writing and all. And Irvine Welsh writing about anything disturbs me, so I didn't even make it all the way through that passage.

I used to handle all of the series romance novels in my job--the Harlequins, the Silhouettes, etc. and would often amuse myself by finding random passages inside. My all-time favorite:

"She quickly looked away, but not quickly enough to avoid an eyeful of denim-encased male groin. Suddenly, she felt more than stunned. She felt breathless, dizzy."

I'm not sure what I find the most amusing, the highly unerotic description of "denim-encased male groin" or the thought that it might make someone dizzy. Yeah...it's the denim-encased male groin. Say that five times fast!