The Bridges of Madison County

A letter to the heroine of The Bridges of Madison County by her daughter.

Dear Mom:
Wow! Little brother and I were very surprised to find those letters and diaries after your death. Who would have guessed you were having a hot affair with a Client Eastwood lookalike while we were at the Iowa State Fair? And let me tell you how special it was to find out your marriage to Daddy was a sham, and Mr. 4 days in a lifetime was your soulmate. And rather than be happy, you sacrificed everything to live a lie -for our sakes of course-even after we were grown and out of the house. Heavy. Mom, I can't tell you how happy it made us to find out we ruined your life like that. And of course, I'm so glad you let us know- I mean, what if you had burned those papers? Then we'd have never known! Thanks Mom.

Love,
Your Daughter, who in the book basically found the whole affair "so beautiful" (sniff)

The Da Vinci Code

If you hate reading, you'll love the Da Vinci Code!! Spoiler Alert for the rest of this review. Seriously, this has got to be the most overrated book in the world. Every religious group that wants to ban really is trying to make the world a better place, even if it's for the wrong reasons (It says Jesus was married?, ewww girl germs!!) The book is about a cryptographer, Sophie Neveu, and a Symbologist, Robert Langdon, who run around Europe solving puzzles to get to the bottom of a murder and uncovering a secret society that hides a big secret of the Catholic Church. (Is there even such a thing as a symbologist, anyway?) Here are my gripes with the book- yes the plot moves fast, but it's too fast, more like warp speed, there is no character development and the settings-- some of the most beautiful places in the world fly past like so many Taco Bells. Maybe this would be ok if the plotting wasn't so ham handed. Every chapter ends in a cliff-hanger ("they gasped as they stared at their certain doom") and tons of the "shocking" stuff is isn't very shocking. Isn't Jesus having a girlfriend why people got so hot under the collar with Jesus Christ, Superstar? The secret with the grandfather, that is alluded too as being Extra-Shocking, can been seen coming a mile away and just is not shocking especially if you've seen Eyes Wide Shut. Frankly, this book is like a Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys for adults, which really isn't sooo bad. This book is just way overrated. If you haven't read it yet, you don't need to.

Possession

DBB readers, it is time for the truth: The real reason I hate this book is my own literary snobism. It's the story of two modern literary scholars, Maud Bailey and Roland Mitchell, who are researching fictional Victorian poets Christabel La Motte and Randolph Ash. Through their study of letters, diaries and so on, they discover their Victorian subjects were having an affair that was unknown until their discovery. Predictably the two modern characters are drawn into a relationship as well. Here's my problem-- the poetry. All poetry is the product of its times and to write a poem imitating other poems is to merely put words on a page not produce true art. For Byatt to write page after page of imitation Victorian poetry and then subject the reader to it as if it were canon is just wrong. Perhaps one or two poems for each of the Victorian characters might have been ok, but Byatt forces the reader to virtually take a survey class of two phony poets. This is in addition to page after page of journals, letters and other ephemera. Who has time? My advice, skip this book, and especially the poems, skip the movie, staring Gwyneth Paltrow (most people did!) and go read some Yeats.

The Shop On Blossom Street

I read this book for my book club at the public library and while I wasn't expecting it to be a deep, introspective piece of fiction, I was still disappointed. I had read a romance or two by this author and they were fine, nothing special --but they were ok. This book? Bad. It's one of those "women's" novels, where an unlikely group of women (each with a specific problem, such as infertility, a rough childhood, or being incredibly snotty) bonds in a unique setting (such as a book club or this case, a knitting class) and they grow to like and respect each other and ultimately help each other solve their problem (and much faster than usual, to quote Homer Simpson). Bleah. One of the ladies in my book club commented that if the book were music, it would be Lawrence Welk and she's quite right. The book is bland (her troubled childhood character was arrested for marijuana possession but the author makes it abundantly clear IT WAS HER ROOMMATE'S because otherwise she'd just be too horrible for readers to care about) unrealistic, (incredibly snotty is mean to her daughter-in-law for most of the book, but the daughter-in-law just keeps acting like Mrs. Snotty is her best friend) and totally simplistic (all problems solved by the end of the book (ooh spoiler alert) Yes!). And great news, there is a sequel!! yay!.